GREG GUTFELD: Florida is ‘the alternative’ of the system

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Let’s do a monologue, we could? However does that disgust you, Decide? I hope it did.

In order , folks have been leaving the blue states in droves to come back dwell right here. Even AOC visited along with her boyfriend, maybe to air out his nasty toes. Have a look at these issues. Final time I noticed toes that ugly, I used to be watching “Jurassic Park.” And for probably the most half, lefty leaders are too cussed to confess it is their rubbish insurance policies which have despatched folks fleeing like Kat from the cops. This is New York Governor Kathy Hochul.


GOV. KATHY HOCHUL: Preventing to convey authorities again to the folks and out of the palms of dictators. And we’re right here to say that the period of Trump and Zeldin and Molinaro, simply leap on a bus and head right down to Florida the place you belong. Okay? Get out of city. Get out of city since you do not characterize our values. You aren’t New Yorkers. 

Properly, we took her recommendation, and right here we’re. Let’s hope she did not observe us down right here on her broomstick. But it surely appears lots of people are taking her recommendation, simply not about her eyebrows. It offers her that stunned look on her face, like whenever you unintentionally sit down on a toddler’s toy. I stated unintentionally. Or perhaps she’s as shocked as we’re that she gained. If these brows obtained any increased, they’re going to flip into wings. However she’s the embodiment of the flaw within the Left’s considering. 

Every little thing they assume ought to be a adverse about Florida is one thing its folks put on proudly, like a crimson, white and blue Speedo. For instance, when Governor DeSantis ended the COVID lockdowns and opened again up companies and colleges, locations like New York stated, “You may have blood in your palms, DeSatan. We have to maintain our youngsters at house and masks up and double masks if it is on Zoom and triple masks if Jeffrey Toobin is on the decision.”


And whereas Florida was pushing to get children into in-school studying, locations like San Francisco have been extra into renaming colleges to Che Guevara Elementary and Ho Chi Minh Excessive. It sounds fairly good. The outcomes: Florida is doing nice, however children in different states cannot add and subtract as a result of they’re two grade ranges behind. It is so dangerous the typical freshman is studying at a Pleasure Beyer stage.

I simply employed a sixth grader from Fort Lauderdale to handle my property, which is generally bronze cash from Roseland Capital. Due to Biden, my 401K is 401 not okay. The youngsters in lockdown states, properly, they’re so silly, this yr’s hottest boy’s title was Bozo. However that is what you get when you’ve a system that believes in authorities greater than the folks it governs. 

However Florida is the alternative. It is floor zero for fogeys rights. You do not have a beef with drag queens. You simply don’t need them in preschool educating them to twerk, proper? I say wait till it is age applicable, just like the fifth grade, when liberal intercourse educators train them to place a condom on a banana blindfolded. However if you wish to have a voice in your brat’s training, in Florida, they’re in your aspect.

And what about regulation and order? Throughout the hurricane, your governor backed residents who stand their floor towards looters. Who was that? Anyone had a coronary. Translation: shoot him in case you obtained him. Which is the one strategy to scale back looting. In the meantime, in different cities, they only redefined theft as redistribution, which is the gist for many leftism.


In the meantime, in NYC, you drive into Instances Sq., you will see this signal. Yeah. Gun-free zone. And but you’ll be able to’t stroll via Instances Sq. with out being assaulted by a Disney character. Due to bail reform, Mickey Mouse is again on the road earlier than you’ll be able to say Winnie the Pooh Pooh. And who is that this signal for? The armed felony? It may possibly’t be as a result of the typical thug in New York cannot learn since he possible went to their public colleges.

It is an ideal instance of fool liberalism. They create extra legal guidelines for the law-abiding, unaware that criminals are outlined by not following legal guidelines, particularly once they’re by no means jailed. In NYC, you do not simply get a slap on the wrist whenever you’re caught, you get a pat on the again and launched. Hell, I’ve used handcuffs extra in my bed room this yr than the NYPD has all yr. However that is how. Hegseth likes it.

Additionally, you ever discover how individuals who hate Florida will say the state’s map appears like a penis? So what? Manhattan is formed like a turd. The sort you see on the sidewalk outdoors Starbucks. They name {that a} venti. Florida has some nice seashores stuffed with scorching babes and thongs, and fortunately, most of them are girls. Now, nothing appears worse in a thong than a chick who has what appears just like the define of Florida in her banana hammock. In New York, although, the seashores are a cross between a sushi bar and a needle alternate program. We’re well past Hepatitis C. By now, it is Hep L, M, N, O and P.

And final in Florida, you bought attractive wildlife from tropical birds to pleasant dolphins. In New York, you bought pigeons with rapsheets, fish with Adderall addictions and rats with gang tattoos. And even they’re desirous about retiring right here. Are you able to blame them?

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